Comment by ssl-3

Nyet, comrade.

She was at the front like some sort of living maidenhead while I leisurely rowed at the back with the entrenching tool that I kept in the car, one evening at an outdoor music festival somewhere in the Midwest. It was all very beautiful; the girl was beautiful, the sky was beautiful, the music was beautiful, and the place itself was beautiful; everything was approximately perfect. There was such a profound feeling of rightness as the sun set, and I wished it would never end.

Except: I had to pee.

So I stood up to take care of that and the stolen canoe simply went sideways. My entrenching tool disappeared (along with one of my sandals, and the boat itself), the girl went for a swim, and most importantly my key fob got drenched.

We swam to the nearest shore and hiked back through the dense young trees and brush using the flashlight on my Galaxy S5.

Once we got back to camp, the phone died for real.

It was all very much a bummer in a great number of ways.

The next day some kids there found and recovered the boat and my missing sandal.

We didn't make it, she and I. But several months later, that dead S5 came back to life like nothing had ever happened.

(Don't do drugs, kids. Maybe.)