Comment by casenmgreen
12 hours ago
> You should have considered the immigration consequences before you got married.
I may be wrong, but I think immigration consequences were not something any reasonable, normal person would have had any reason to think of. We are normal people, living normal lives. As I say, I may be wrong, but this feels like blaming the victim.
Immigrating into the US is notoriously difficult. There is a ton of demand. The US does not do even a mediocre job of prioritizing this demand, but it feels like the argument “I’m a normal person so I didn’t think about this” is rooted in lala land. If I was trying to immigrate into any other country (let alone the US), I would immediately and primarily think about how marriage might impact the status of my application. It would literally be the first thing I’d think of.
Not saying it’s wrong to get married as you’re trying to immigrate into the most competitive country in the world, but you do assume responsibility that this might impact your application.
US immigration is a strange game: folks who have good attention to detail can DIY and save a good chunk of money. Folks that don't should probably get an immigration lawyer to avoid potential disaster.
OP evidently made an incorrect assumption somewhere: perhaps they thought that they would stay in IR2/F1. Or perhaps they assumed that even if they change to F3, it would be as good as IR2/F1.
Are you an American citizen or ever had a desire to immigrate to another country? Do people fall in love and get married without thinking of the practical consequences? Yes. Do people also not get married to their love because it messes with their immigration? Also yes. Both are reasonable.
As we increasingly live/love/marry across nationalities, being very conscious about immigration rules has to become something “normal people” care about and think about.
Rather than blaming the victim it’s a hard truth. Now, I would personally love for this to be different BUT as long as rules on immigration are what they are in many places of the world, we need to consider it when we move/marry/have kids.
For instance, one important piece of advice to people thinking about studies abroad (especially PhD) is to also consider what their particular opportunities for work and permanent residence is in the place they go to. Chance are after many years in a place, you may meet someone or you may want to stay. If you choose a place (say UK a few years ago) that is unlikely to let you stick around, well you may need to be prepared for disappointment.
Furthermore, unless you live in a country where you clearly have an idea of how to get PR then you always need live with the understanding that you may at any point have to pack up and move. This is a reality, and sucks to take in but is the truth. Nothing worse than building a life some place and then 10 years down the line get rejected during your semi annual “visa renewal”.